


There Was A Time

by AwokenMonster



Category: Three Days Grace (Band)
Genre: Falling Out of Love, M/M, bad break up, poor matt, poor neil, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 01:59:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17695454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwokenMonster/pseuds/AwokenMonster
Summary: Matt loved Neil with all his heart.And there was a time Neil loved Matt too.





	There Was A Time

**Author's Note:**

> Monster: Hi guys! I finally wrote another 3DG fic. I've started writing so many fucking 3DG one-shots but couldn't seem to finish one and be happy with it. This one came out kinda ok though. I've got a few projects coming up for 3DG;  
> 1\. Swipe Right Left Wrong; Matt finds Neil on Tinder and neither one of them knows what to do with it when they match  
> 2\. Do You Miss Him; A miscommunication between Matt and Neil might just lead to the end of 3DG  
> These are my actual works in progress but I have about 12 plot ideas listed in a document too.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Also; Happy 50th work on AO3!

Neil had no idea what time it was when he awoke that night, but it wasn’t the first thing to hit his mind when he did. He’d had yet another one of those stupid dreams that left him feeling strange. A dream that wasn’t worth calling a nightmare but still very much ominous for what it was. A dream like that enabled him to choose when to wake up and it would be the end of it, but it always felt like coming from an alternate reality and that’s a feeling one does not shake off easily. At the end of one he’d get this terrible anticipation of something horrible that had yet to happen. As if something was mocking him, telling him he doesn’t have the right to be happy because he was a horrible person inside.

He blinked in the darkness. The black stain slowly formed shapes on the ceiling, taking away the creepy veil of the night. He lay on his back. Something pressed into him and he remembered he wasn’t alone. Another heartbeat thrummed underneath his fingers around Matt’s waist. Matt was wrapped in his arms, head on his chest and sound asleep. His hair was a mess of black, face turned downward, away from Neil.

There was a time when Neil would wake out of a bad dream and the sight of Matt would make it all fall into nothingness. When Matt was with him, everything was alright. Everything was just perfect, like two puzzle pieces fitting exactly together. The love he’d held for Matt could’ve lit up a thousand nights and there was no telling what the extend of this glow in his chest was. He loved him with his entire essence and Matt returned it all. There’s beauty in a devoted love like that. It fuels every movement, every action carried out. It runs through your veins, strengthens you and makes you invincible. It keeps the nightmares at bay.

Neil swallowed a lump in his throat, drawing small patterns on the other’s arm with his fingers. He stared at the ceiling and blocked out all thoughts, knowing he’d be unable to handle any of them right now. Already anticipating what they would be.

There was a time when there were no thoughts like those, because the only thing on his mind would be Matt. Matt would smile at him and it would light his being on fire. He’d wake up like this and roll to his side to hug Matt close, never let him go. Now he remained immobile with an unsettling feeling in his gut. There _was_ a time.

A time when he’d happily nuzzle into Matt’s hair and remember the days he spent in insecurity. The days when he realized he liked Matt a little more than what was friendly. He feared it wouldn’t be reciprocated so he had kept his mouth shut. The days when Matt would date girls and Neil would feel his stomach churn, spending every day counting the minutes until he’d finally be single again. Until he’d finally forget about his girlfriend and dump her. He’d remember the horror whenever a new girl would enter Matt’s life, pretending to be happy for him when it ate him up inside. He’d remember thinking “They only just started dating. It could take months, years before Matt will dump her this time.”. He knew he’d relive those days in his own personal Hell sometimes but Matt had always been there to soothe the pain now.

Then there was that hot summer night when everything was finally right. When there were no girls to keep Matt occupied. It was just them and the moon. It had been a confusing time, a painful mess of dancing around one another but it had all been worth it because in the end, Neil _won_.

Neil finally had Matt to call his beloved.

Matt loved Neil with all his heart.

And there was a time Neil loved Matt too.

Blocking out thoughts never lasts long before one you’re trying to avoid, finally pushes through. Neil looked down at his sleeping boyfriend. There was a time Neil loved Matt and that time meant the world to him. It was pure magic, indescribable. He wished he could go back to that time, but he couldn’t. He didn’t remember when it had begun but he used to hug and kiss Matt out of a burning desire, coming from the heart. It wasn’t _faded_. Now it was all automated, steps of a carefully choreographed piece. He did it all out of habit, didn’t think much when he said: “I love you”. It was just something they did but to Neil, it had lost its meaning. Every time he kissed Matt every time he told him he missed him, wanted to be with him… He was putting up a show. There was no love and devotion in it any longer. Unfortunately, it was nothing like that to Matt. Matt meant every word of it and every bit of affection held his heart and soul.

That’s what made this so hard.

That’s why Neil was still holding Matt at night, why he hadn’t let go of him. He was afraid. Matt loved him so much. Despite the wilted love Neil felt when he gazed at Matt, he didn’t wish him any harm. He wanted nothing but the best for him but offering him the best, meant Neil would have to let him go. The duality of that sole thought _hurt_ more than any hit he could take.

They were designed for another. Time would tell that Neil loved Matt a little less than someone else would. Matt _had to_ find the one who would love him the way he deserved.

Neil held him close, feeling something cold in his chest. He didn’t belong with Matt. He didn’t love Matt anymore. All of this was just something he kept going in the hopes that it would one day regain its colour and be the way it used to be again. It ached to acknowledge he’d have to hurt Matt to save him from this loveless relationship. He didn’t want to break his heart.  
He’d hoped his love would return. He’d begged at night to feel that love burn again but he felt nothing when Matt looked at him like he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Nothing but pity. They were no longer two parts of a whole. Neil had hoped for his love to return, had even hoped for Matt to stop loving him but he’d been at this impasse for several weeks now. It had to stop before he made things worse.

He had to break up with Matt.

Why did he have to hurt the singer for his own flaws? Neil was the flaw, the incomplete one who had lost the love he felt for Matt so why should Matt suffer the consequences of it? There was no other way, Neil would have to break up with Matt to offer him a better future with someone who could love him better. Fate was a cruel joke sometimes.

Neil sighed, a little too loudly as it caused Matt to stir. The younger looked up, groggy but smiling. He reached a hand to touch Neil’s cheek, smile melting off his face instantly. “Neil, why are you crying? Bad dream?”

With Matt’s sweet blue eyes staring at him so worriedly, so lovingly, Neil’s courage leapt into the void in his chest and left him. He couldn’t dump Matt. He couldn’t become that asshole who trampled all over Matt’s heart. The drummer wiped his cheek on his sleeve and nodded. He wished this was all just a bad dream. That he’d wake up in the morning and the past few weeks would’ve been nothing but a nightmare.

Matt propped himself up to nuzzle his neck. “I wish I could make you feel better.”

 _Me too_ , Neil thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment, they're our heavy fuel
> 
> There's 2 subtle hints to 2 future works in here.  
> "Felt like coming from an alternate reality"  
> "World regain colour"  
> Wonder what they could be about...


End file.
